Most horrible exam

One of my classes was interesting. We had to learn techniques to learn a language when you do not have learning materials. For example if you are to learn english you have millions of books available. But if you want to study Totonac (an indegenous language in Mexico) you have no books available. So you find a Totonac speaker and then you have to guide him as to what you need to learn.
So the objective of the class was to learn these techniques. And in order to practice we had a Totonac person and we had to learn some Totonac. Neat.
BUT then there were exams. And one of them was horrible. The teacher, who is real nice- honestly, came up with this idea of how to test us to see if we really knew without the Totonac teacher giving us any hint what so ever of the right answer.
In a classroom there was a table with different things on the table. A chair in which I sat, giving my back to the Totonac teacher. This way he would give me instructions and I would have to obey. No other students were in the classroom. And most of the chairs had been moved aside so the classroom looked empty. Not friendly at all. My teacher was standing in front of me and taking notes on how I answered.
The tension level was real high. The first exercise was real hard. So the tension incresed even more. It was bad. I still managed to get a decent score. But I did forget many of the things I knew...I went blank. It had never happened to me before.
And just because the way God has made me and because He continues to use every small event in my life to make me sensitive to other situations...I was awakened to the reality of what it is like when people are taken to prision to be questioned. How many times people end up in jail because they got so scared that they made the wrong sentences?
That idea alone is scarey. Then I thought of people in migration offices...much the same story. The hight level of tension, so easy to make a mistake and then you lose your chance to get a visa.
But the thought that made an even bigger impact was the thought of christians who live in places where they are persecutted. I remembered hearing how they would be taken into prison and being interrogated. I felt the whole issue so real, so close... I stopped and prayed for those who were in that situation in that very same moment...and then I wondered..."how will I react in a similar situation? Will I stand firm in my confession of Christ?"
It is so easy to say yes to that question when you are in a free country and in a comfortable home...but, "Will I stand firm in my confession of Christ in a violent situation?"

I do not know. I can no longer answer with a sure "YES", not after that horrible exam, and after becoming aware of how fragile I am.

"Will I stand firm in my confession of Christ in a violent situation?" I do not know.